Girls and Grades: How to Get Both AND Do Better in School

Yes, it's true. You CAN get both and STILL do better in school. How? I'll tell you. While I can't claim to be a dating guru or hot-blooded casanova and some things (like your acne) are beyond my control, I can give you a few pointers as to how you can use your brain to get the ladies.   

1. It's all about the confidence. If you don't have the confidence to walk up to a girl and have a simple conversation, how can you expect to contribute to class discussions? You can't, really. While there's no quick fix to low confidence, it always helps to have faith that everything will be okay. So you answer a question wrong in class? "Oh, well," you can say, "I'll get it right next time." Conversation ends up being awkward? "That's fine," you can say, "I'm just getting to know her." When you're confident with a girl, she'll be able to tell - that makes everything a lot less awkward. The same thing applies in class: if you're confident with the material and if you're confident speaking your mind (especially in discussion-based classes), you will get so much more from the class. 

2. Take advantage of the "Wikipedian Loop." It's about time that I introduce you all to the concept of a Wikipedian Loop. This concept was first defined by Urban Dictionary contributor Marie Penney. While initially defined as a negative "infinite loop of addiction," it can be used to your advantage. A Wikipedian Loop occurs when you are reading an article on Wikipedia and you enter a "loop" by clicking links within the article. The more articles you jump to, the longer you are stuck in the loop. It generally results in homework not getting done. Here's the upside to it: girls like it when you have things to talk about (other than yourself, of course). The best part of being stuck in a Wikipedian Loop is that the more you read (thus, the more you learn), the more things you have to talk about. Instead of saying "uh...uh...uh...how is school going?" you can talk about the social ramifications of the short film "8 Guys" (that, obviously, you learned about while stuck in a Wikipedian Loop) or how funny you think Dane Cook is (he wrote and directed "8 Guys" - you would know if you read the Wikipedia article). How does this make you smarter? IT'S LIKE READING THE ENCYCLOPEDIA! You never know when you can make a connection in school to something you read on Wikipedia! You might be taking a test in history and encounter a difficult question about George Patton in France. You then remember reading about Patton's Third Army in WWII and the vicious fighting that it engaged in as a result of the "Falaise Gap" - boom. That's money (points) in the bank. The vast wealth of knowledge that you will acquire as a result of being perpetually stuck in a Wikipedian Loop will astonish and enamor of you any girls you're talking to and will increase any test score by a whole letter grade (not guaranteed). If you find this helpful, I would suggest looking at Cracked.com's "Topics" sections - now you will be able to make jokes about all the things you read on Wikipedia.

3. Go out! How, you ask, will this help you in school? Well, when you spend time on dates or with friends, you learn how to behave in social situations (i.e. SCHOOL). You will learn important things like, for example, you can't just shout over somebody who is already talking. Can you think of any classroom applications of this? I can. You'll learn polite discourse and how to engage in an intense conversation (i.e. debates). All of these things are helpful in school and even MORE helpful when approaching a girl. 

If you take my advice, I can guarantee that you will do better in school (maybe) and that you will be "scorin' mad biddies" in no time (also maybe). 

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Four Easy (and legal) Ways to Get a Five on the AP US History Exam

Before I write anything more, I want to thank the site host, Ryan, for a few things. First and foremost, I wanted to thank him for taking me on as a writer - I look forward to helping all of you succeed in school. I also wanted to thank him for unknowingly inspiring me in an email to write this post. Now, without further ado, I give you some easy ways to get a five on the most notorious AP test ever created: 

1. Buy Larry Krieger's AP US History Crash Course Book: While not strictly "legal" at Montgomery High School, this book is the most important study tool you can have - even more so than the gigantic REA APUSH book. I'll first explain why it isn't legal at MHS - the APUSH Part II teacher (who will remain nameless) dislikes Larry Krieger because he runs an APUSH test prep course at the school and consistently releases College Board practice materials to his class before our teacher can release them to us. I'm sure you understand the conflict here. So, as a result, our teacher has taken to confiscating Krieger's Crash Course book. With that said, I want to emphasize that this book is in no way cheating and is (at schools other than MHS) in no way illegal. Why is this book so great? Well, Krieger puts all (or almost all) the information that you will need for the exam into an easy to memorize outline format and words it almost exactly as it will be worded on the test. I know this from personal experience. As test day got closer, I simply could not seem to remember the information that I needed to know. I had read the entire REA test prep book and had done four of the six practice tests. I was stuck. My friend loaned me his Crash Course book and from the minute I started reading it, I knew this was the key to my studying. After I finished the book, I took a practice test and it felt like I had cheated - I remembered all the information and it was almost identical to the test. Come test day, I was as prepared as I could have been for the multiple choice section. Guess what? I got a 5. 

2. Try to predict the Document Based Question ("DBQ"): We did this in my APUSH class and it gave me a pretty solid idea of what I should be focusing on for the DBQ. If you don't do this in your APUSH class, go online and find out the DBQs from the past 10 or so years. The College Board rarely recycles topics more frequently than every 10 years and if you can think of a topic (keep it general) that hasn't been used already, write it down and study it. Keep in mind that the College Board prefers social history over military history. So instead of studying "military actions in Vietnam," study "the social ramifications of the Vietnam War." This strategy works best if you brainstorm with multiple people - they will often come up with ideas you wouldn't otherwise think of. The DBQ on the exam was one of the few that I predicted and prepared for. Guess what? I got a 5. 

3. READ THE QUESTIONS: While you are taking practice tests and on the day of the exam itself, it is imperative that you read and examine literally every part of the questions presented to you. While taking the test, mark up the wording of the questions - circle important years, underline key phrases, etc. That way you won't forget anything. If you are presented with a picture/political cartoon/etc, look at the copyright information. That was the key to one of the questions on this year's test. The question at hand was a painting of a Campbell's soup can and the text of the question read something like, "This is an example of _ art. a) Realist b) Impressionist c) Pop d) Romantic". If you looked at the copyright information under the picture, you would have learned that the painting was credited to Andy Warhol. Well that makes it easy, doesn't it? Even if you know almost nothing about art, everybody knows Andy Warhol's famous painting of Marilyn Monroe and, with a little thinking, you would remember that in almost any cheesy photo editing program, the "Pop Art" effect is identified by the Marilyn picture. I have met enough people from my school alone that got that question wrong because they didn't see the copyright credit clearly located under the picture. On test day, I made a point of reading every question carefully. Guess what? I got a 5. 

4. Do practice tests: There is literally nothing more crucial to your test preparation than practice. The most challenging aspect of the exam is not the content but how it is presented to you. Any history student could tell you that the Battle of Saratoga was the turning point of the revolution, but would you be able to pick that choice from a paragraph of text about French involvement in the war? Maybe not. Once you learn what the question is asking, you can answer the question. The best way to become accustomed to the way the College Board asks you questions is to do practice tests. You can find them fairly easily online. My favorite website is www.historyteacher.net/USQuizMainPage.htm - the quizzes are written in the AP style and allow you to go back to questions you got wrong. This caused many an "Ohhhhhhhh!" moment while I was studying. Buy the fat REA test prep book with the "REA TestWare" so that you can use the 6 practice tests - in my opinion you shouldn't use it for anything else. I took MANY practice tests. Guess what? I got a 5.

While the test isn't until May, it's never too soon to start preparing. I won't say that just using these four techniques will get you a five on the exam, but it sure won't hurt. I wish you the best of luck in studying for the AP US History exam! 

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